Most of us who came out of homosexuality constructed an entire network of supportive heterosexual friends to support us in our transition to heterosexuality.

Some of these were men with whom we could simply hang out and do "guy activities" in a non-threatening environment -- "grow into the fullness of manhood by doing the things that men do," as Alan Medinger writes in his book.

Some of our friends became "accountability partners" or, in Sexaholics Anonymous language, "sobriety partners." These were friends, fellow strugglers or mentors with whom we could "check in" as often as daily. They were men with whom we could be completely honest about our struggles and what we were doing to nourish ourselves and avoid temptations.

Several of us joined support groups (see Resources and Links). All of these efforts provide support for a new way of thinking and living our lives, with honesty, integrity and courage.

Again, remember that we who have transitioned out of homosexuality had experienced homosexual feelings as a desperate emotional (not sexual!) hunger for love from other men. The hunger BECAME sexual when we could not find a way to feed it emotionally. Loving, supportive, affirming friends help us to meet our legitimate need for authentic male love and affirmation, and our need to pursue it sexually began to shrink away.

Go back to "How Family and Friends Can Help"