Answer: Start with learning about what has worked for others who have made a successful transition from homosexuality. Find out about the counselors and support programs that helped them. You can start by printing out pages from this web site and highlighting those areas that seem most significant. Or most challenging!

This isn't just intellectual reading. This is spiritual and emotional reading -- reading with a believing heart open to inner prompting about areas of significant healing for you. If you read this way, you may experience, as we did, dramatic "aha!" moments where you understand as never before the experiences that led to your homosexual feelings and the things you need to do to begin to change them.

The next most important thing to do is to get help -- from God and from other people, especially men whom you can trust to be supportive of you. Tell them what you are dealing with. Ask for their help and their listening ear as you begin to work a healing program. This is critical. You cannot change alone or in secret.

Homosexuality is at its heart a relationship problem; it cannot be resolved in isolation.

Find a supportive therapist, if possible, who is knowledgeable about (or willing to become knowledgeable about) reparative therapy, and believes in affirming your manhood, not your homosexuality.

Then, armed with true information about what has worked for others, surrounded by a small number of supportive people who will encourage you and listen to you, and leaning on God for guidance, you are ready to work a program of major change. Follow the path we outline on this web site, or similar paths outlined in books like "Coming Out Straight," or whatever path you feel God is leading you on.

You can't do everything at once, and it is not a sequential process. The important thing is that you push yourself in new ways. Take new risks. Build new relationships. Try new things such as we describe on this web site -- things that will help you heal your inner sense of masculinity, your connection with heterosexual men, and your connection with God.

Go to Q & A Page