It may seem ironic – but many men who have walked this journey out of homosexuality have found that, until we could begin to love and accept ourselves just as we were, right then, unchanged, we could make little progress.

Acceptance of our goodness, our value and our true potential as men—alongside our flaws—was a critical early step out of homosexuality.

We discovered that shame can NEVER motivate real change – because shame begets only more shame, which can fuel homosexual feelings and compulsive behaviors. It certainly doesn’t relieve them. Anyone who is motivated primarily by shame to seek change is not only likely to fail at change but risks actually making the cycle of shame worse. Shame never motivates lasting change.

Likewise, those who pursue change to satisfy other people – whether family, friends, religious institutions or society at large – are likely to find neither success nor satisfaction in trying to change when doing so is not truly their heart's desire.

The truth is: you are good and valuable just as you are, today, unchanged… and even if you never change.

Pursuit of change isn’t about becoming valuable as a person. You already are.

Pursuit of change is about surrendering all that is negative about same-sex attractions: the lust, obsession, buried emotional pain, the secrecy, loneliness and conflict…

…while embracing all that is positive: the drive to heal past hurts, to love and be love, to accept and be accepted, to embrace masculinity fully and completely, to connect and belong.

Pursuit of change is about aligning our values, beliefs, identity, true needs, and behavior…and for many of us, aligning our lives with God’s will for us individually, as we perceive it.

Go to "A M.A.N.S. Journey"

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